Junk Mail

16 Mar

From time to time I like to take a look in my Hotmail “Junk mail” folder. There are two good reasons for this.

The first is to check that nothing is in there that ought to be in the Inbox. Everyone should check this from time to time – after all we are not to know by what criteria Microsoft are judging the “junkiness” of our correspondence and perfectly innocent words and phrases can easily trigger over-sensitive Political-correctness filters!

For example, I once worked for a company that ran all of its incoming and outgoing email through such a filter. I sent an email to a friend commenting on a rather close-run football match between our respective teams and in it I used the phrase “nip and tuck” which is appropriate to such a circumstance. I won’t say that alarms and klaxons went off all over the building when I hit “send” but they might as well have done!

My email was stopped from leaving the building and the software in operation copied it to the I.T.Manager (my boss), the H.R. Manager AND the Managing Director on the grounds that the word “nip” was “racially and ethnically offensive”!!! When told about it I shook my head and said that I was surprised that it had missed out “sexually” too!

Needless to say I refused to retract my email but spent much of the next working day learning how the program worked and was controlled. After I worked out how, I was able to say what I wanted, release potentially offensive messages before they ever got to the reporting stage AND edit the offensive words dictionary! When they made me redundant I added “Tesco” (their biggest customer) to the offensive list!

The second reason for checking the Junk folder is sheer prurient curiosity!
I always have loads of messages offering me fake Rolex watches and slightly less specific but similar ones for “Designer Knockoffs”. I am, for some reason, usually spared junk mail of a sexual nature which can, as I understand it, make some people’s life a misery.

Today, however, there were two of them grouped together on the page. The first was headed “Gain inchez” (the spelling is yet another attempt at getting past the filters), while the second was titled “Keep it up 4 longer”. There is little doubt as to what these messages were referring to so I’m not going into any more detail.

Now I know that these were messages that DID get stopped by Hotmail’s program BUT what I don’t understand is:


I think that the wife must have been speaking out of turn!



Posted by on March 16, 2009 in Uncategorized


2 responses to “Junk Mail

  1. Mike

    August 12, 2010 at 5:02 am

    When folks install filters on their KIDS computers, the results can be amusing. “Beaver” is a Canadian wild-life (not THAT kind of wild-life!) magazine that’s been going for a CENTURY – but due to PLUMMETING hits, they had to change their NAME!


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