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No more Mister Nice Guy!

11 Jun

As nearly everyone on the planet probably knows by now the 2010 Soccer World Cup (and I put the “soccer” in there for the benefit of United States readers who still think that a game that involves touching a ball with almost any part of the body but only very occasionally the feet should be called “football”) starts on 11th June.

As always some teams have made it to the last thirty-two and some haven’t.

This time my team, England (I’ll support them until my plans for independence for East Anglia are under way), HAVE got to the finals but there have been occasions over the last few decades when we haven’t made it to the later stages of major competitions.

On those occasions I have, as have most other Englishmen of my acquaintance, automatically switched my allegiance to one of the other “home” countries (Northern Ireland, Scotland, Wales or even, if none of those were available, the Republic of Ireland) and I have assumed that in the spirit of the “UNITED” Kingdom of Great Britain & N.Ireland all of THOSE countries were doing the same whenever THEY didn’t qualify.

It turns out I am completely wrong on THAT score!

I heard a rumour and checked it out online, not really believing it to be true. But it is!

You can indeed buy a shirt bearing a picture of the Jules Rimet Trophy (the “World Cup”), with the Scottish flag on the sleeve and the words “ANYONE BUT ENGLAND! World Cup 2010 South Africa”.

Right then! That’s the end of my supporting THOSE ungrateful Caledonian GITS!

Not that these days they EVER qualify for anything anyway!

Perhaps if random chance one day gives them a qualifying group containing Lichtenstein, Andorra and the Faeroe Islands there might JUST be some hope……..!

And all of this has been the final straw after the issue of the Scottish Parliament – that august body which has (and exercises) the right to grant FREE University Education and FREE NHS prescriptions to Scottish residents.

Nothing wrong with that you may well say – BUT – it has to be paid for!

And since the Scottish Parliament has no tax raising powers its income comes from a subsidy from the BRITISH parliament at Westminster – an organisation that gets the vast majority of its taxation revenue from ENGLISH taxpayers! So for me, an English taxpayer, this meant I had the privilege not only of PAYING for my own daughters to attend University but also SUBSIDISING a Scottish taxpayer to send HIS children to one as well! And did he say “Thank you”? What do you think?

It’s called “biting the hand that feeds you” and I’m not prepared to put up with it any more.

So I am going to have a shirt done bearing a map of the British Isles with the top part removed and an English flag on the sleeve – all overlaid with the words “Spend my Taxes……ANYWHERE BUT SCOTLAND!”

Alfie

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1 Comment

Posted by on June 11, 2010 in Uncategorized

 

One response to “No more Mister Nice Guy!

  1. Mike

    June 12, 2010 at 2:09 am

    Och! Even Andorra would kick Scotland’s arse! Pass the Irn-bru…

     

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