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Showground update

30 Jul

It seems like years ago now (but was in fact 19th April 2010) that I wrote about living in close proximity to the East of England Showground and commented on some of the events that take place there. 

I was reminded that I had more to say on the matter while on my way home from work yesterday when I noticed, for the first time this year that the yellow “Faith 2010“ direction signs were out. 

As I drove past the entrance to the Showground I could see that the tents of the “advanced guard” of the Army of the Lord were starting to go up ready for things kicking off in earnest at the weekend. 

“Oh well! There goes the summer!” I thought because, as I have previously pointed out, this event usually brings strong winds and pouring rain – just what you need for a week under canvas! HE/SHE/IT certainly does move in mysterious ways, doesn’t HE/SHE/IT? 

I then remembered an event that I had seen advertised here a few weeks ago but hadn’t heard of when I wrote the original piece. 

“Just Dogs Live” 

I presumed initially that it had to be a Dog Show of some sort but after seeing the advertising hoarding day after day for a couple of weeks it suddenly occurred to me that the first word has two meanings which could be summed up by the alternate words  “merely” or “righteous”. The last word, however, has two meanings AND two ways of pronouncing it! 

“Live”, an adjective pronounced “lyve” as in the sense of “not dead” or “active”.

“Live”, a verb pronounced “liv” as in “to reside” or “to exist”. 

 And because I was driving a very familiar piece of road on total autopilot, my twisted little brain managed to work out and tell me what it thought would be a REALLY funny thing to do. 

This involved sneaking back to the advert board after dark with a can of spray paint and adding the obvious second line: 

“Unjust Dogs Die!” 

As the sign has now gone I will have to wait for next year to do it but the idea itself reminded me of something else NOT involving the showground but something much grander.

Every year, about fifteen miles up the A1 from here on the outskirts of Stamford, the Utterly Grand and Impressive Burghley House hosts “The Burghley Horse Trials”.

And it remains one of my ambitions to find a group of like-minded idiots and to picket this event with placards bearing the words “Free the Burghley Horse” and “The Burghley Horse is innocent”.

We would have to take great care to WIN our protest however as they don’t have a very reasonable attitude towards losers there!

 What do I mean by that?

Well the whole event has for some years now been sponsored by Spillers Pet Foods and I reckon the thought of winding up as Cat food has done wonders for the concentration of a great many horses (and riders)!

 And I don’t think they’d baulk at “canning” a few grubby protesters too, do you?

 Alfie

 PS.

 After writing the above but before publishing it AND while we are still on the subject of horses I noticed today that the E of E Showground event following “Faith 2010” is something called “Equifest”.  My over-active imagination likes to think that this is one where they stampede a herd of wild horses over the camping ground to clear out any of the “god-botherers” who won’t leave!

I could be wrong. It MIGHT be an event to encourage the purchasing of Equities on the Stock Market!

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2 Comments

Posted by on July 30, 2010 in Uncategorized

 

2 responses to “Showground update

  1. Mike V.

    August 1, 2010 at 6:41 am

    I once saw a road-side sign advertising a “Psychic Fair”.

    It occurred that if there was anything IN that “science” – why would they need to ADVERTISE? Simply set up the tents and THOUSANDS would just TURN UP!

     
  2. littlealfie

    August 6, 2010 at 3:56 pm

    I saw that one too – many years ago and somewhere near Brighton if I recall correctly.

    I particularly noticed that the arrow indicating the “Psychic Fair” was pointing straight upwards and I voiced the opinion “Must be Psychokinetics and Levitators only!”

    Alfie

     

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