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Who writes this rubbish!

26 Oct

What do you mean “You do”!

I don’t mean THIS rubbish! I mean newspaper headlines (but you are probably right as well)!

I have just found a note I made last March concerning my cretinous local rag – the Peterborough Evening Telegraph.

I have already mentioned (https://littlealfie.wordpress.com/2010/03/25/read-all-about-it/) that I was in the habit of buying  this publication every Thursday when it allegedly advertised all manner of local jobs. Sometimes as many as TWO whole pages of advertisements!

Fortunately, through my own efforts (once again neither the “Job” Centre nor the local paper can claim any credit for it) I have now found a very good job and no longer need to waste 40p every Thursday in the forlorn hope that something appropriate will turn up.

Incidentally, I must at this point make VERY clear that any assertion I make here that Job Centre staff are a bunch of useless tossers who couldn’t find their own arses with both hands let alone a job for someone DOES NOT apply to my good friend who works in one of their offices about 130 miles away.

She actually sent me more suitable vacancies to apply for in my first month of unemployment than the one on my doorstep managed in over a year! You know who you are and “Thank you” most sincerely.

But enough of that and back to the Peterborough Evening Telegraph which I should mention is the kind of paper that, I firmly believe, fosters the dumbing down of society that so annoys me.  It publishes, for example, letters from its ill-informed correspondents exactly as the unschooled dolts write them! Thus hateful expressions such as “could of”, “should of” and “off of” occur unedited far too often. I don’t know if this is editorial policy to show how ignorant the readership is or whether the Editors don’t actually know any better!

Either way I try very hard not to read any of their “Journalism”!

On the Thursday that I made my note I could not ignore their headline – it was in such large, black print that there wasn’t room for the actual story which was mostly on the inside pages.

It concerned the trial of a local child molester and I think the last two words of the headline were “found guilty” or something of the sort. I didn’t really notice that part, however, as when I spotted the bit that made me write my little note the paper was folded in half and only the first two words were visible under the usual banner giving information on what was within.

Now, remembering why I bought the thing  in the first place you can imagine what I thought when I saw:

“JOBS!” followed by “PAEDOPHILE BABYSITTER!”

And I still, to this day, wonder how many applications they received!

Alfie

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3 Comments

Posted by on October 26, 2010 in Uncategorized

 

3 responses to “Who writes this rubbish!

  1. Vincent

    October 27, 2010 at 12:59 pm

    Contractions like “should’ve” for “should have” are fine. I have even been known to write “I’d’ve” for “I would have” – fine again.

    But while using these tools in speech is okay, it is essential to remember the actual WORDS they come from!

    I blame the TEACHERS (too busy doing naughty things in the library stock-room!)

     
  2. sumpnado

    November 20, 2010 at 1:25 pm

    It is sad for the young folk making the ‘would-of’ error in ignorance, in conversation, in a piece in the media, or even in a Comment upon one’s blog. One ought, naturally, to say nothing about it, but, rather, proceed to make an elaborate response to the point, or issue, which (by pure chance) incorporates many uses of phrases such as “would have” and “should have” and “could have”… all carefully pronounced with not a micro-hint of any disapproval or superior sneer…

     
  3. littlealfie

    November 22, 2010 at 11:38 am

    Better yet, simply don’t hear them unless they say it properly! Or the old comedy sketch line (Monty Python? Vincent will know!) “Sorry chaps. Can’t understand your banter”!

    I’ve waited a long time for the previous couple of generations to relinquish their hold on such matters to mine and I’m not caving in and accepting the next generation’s way of speaking badly just when I reach the point where MY rules should prevail!

    Besides that, the “have/’ve/of” thing pales into insignificance next to those who don’t seem capable of saying “ask” without it coming out as “ARKS”!

    It seems to include a significant number of TV Presenters and I blame so-called Diversity Managers for effectively abolishing the Universal Constant that was “BBC English”. That one is REALLY pissing me off at present!

    Alfie

     

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