Speaking ill of the dead!

09 Apr

Back in late 2010 and the first half of 2011 I occasionally wrote (in addition to the fairly mild stuff that you are accustomed to read here) slightly more biting articles for the Word Press blog run by an old friend and another “friend of an old friend” to the extent that I was actually made an Editor on that site.  It is, sadly, is no longer in existence but I still have access to everything I ever wrote there.

The following 450 (or so) words are an article I wrote on 29th December 2010 and I include them again here for reasons which will become clear in due course:


No-one bad ever dies!

Have you ever noticed that?

Anyone, be they the biggest, nastiest, dyed in the wool bastard ever spawned becomes, by the mere act of snuffing it, the bestest ickle angel ever!

“Don’t speak ill of the dead” my old Granny would have said, presumably thinking that their spirits would return to haunt her if she did!

This, incidentally, is the same person who was so in touch with reality that when my mum (her daughter) was indulging a craving for licquorice while expecting me she told mum in all seriousness to stop eating it in case she had a black baby!

But I digress….

Over the last few days the story has been reported of a man in Huddersfield who, over an eight hour “siege” took potshots at the police negotiators trying to sort out whatever the problem was peaceably and managed to wound one of them.

He was eventually “taken out” by Police marksmen and I was somewhat annoyed to learn that the Police Complaints Commission was investigating – and NOT on behalf of the wounded officer!

What’s to investigate?

Here we have a man in possession of a firearm which, even if he was entitled to OWN it (which hasn’t been made clear yet but I have my doubts), should never have used it in a public place let alone fired it at human beings!

He was told to put it down and “come quietly” for EIGHT HOURS (which presumably disposes of any claims concerning his usage of drink or drugs) and then on opening up again was shot and killed.

And, since no-one else has been recorded as saying it, I would like to say “Thank you Police Marksmen on behalf of all the innocent potential victims in the neighbourhood”.

And how did the local television news cover this?

They interviewed a man who looked like he habitually bites the heads off Pit-bull terriers, was covered in Satanic-looking tattoos and who reported that the gunman was “a really nice bloke who I used to have a drink with now and then”!

Then they showed a shot of a wreath laid at the scene with the clearly visible words “LOVEABLE ROGUE, SADLY MISSED”!

Whether the last two words are a criticism of his marksmanship or an expression of affection can never be known but I would like to redress the balance here by ordering another wreath with the words “MURDEROUS PSYCHO, NO LOSS TO THE WORLD”!

Still, he won’t do it again will he?

And just to show that I’m not entirely devoid of human sympathy, can I just say that (on the basis of the TV scenes shown) I’m really, REALLY sorry for anyone who has to live in Huddersfield!

Alfie 29/12/2010

And then………….

Just when I thought that “no-one bad ever dies” was the fundamental human truth which I would always be credited with discovering, Mrs Margaret Thatcher (Baroness, Ex-Prime Minister etc.) went and popped off this mortal coil on 8th April 2013 (or “yesterday” as it still is as I write this) and many people now seem to be publically disagreeing with me.

She was a politician who was capable more than any other in my lifetime (with the possible exception of Enoch Powell) of inspiring frankly scary amounts of rage from anyone who disagreed  with her and, oddly, that rage seemed capable of being passed down to generations who weren’t even around we she was at her peak.

I realise that many people took the view either at the time or much later that they either loved or hated her and all I will say to that is that for her party to win three General Elections under her leadership there had to be rather more of the former than the latter – although they were pretty quiet about it compared to the angry screaming of the minority.

I do not subscribe to the “my party right or wrong” idea which means that I always have trouble at election times because I might agree with one side on, say, economic policy and the other on, say, defence policy then have to decide which of those is more important to me and take the rest of that party’s policies whether I agree with them or not. The UK system is plainly not designed for voters who can think for themselves on a number of separate issues!

Likewise with Mrs T. – I know what a total mess this country was in when she took over in 1979 and something drastic had to be done if we weren’t to become a third world nation. What I’m not convinced about though is whether it was necessary to swing the political pendulum QUITE so far the other way!

I find myself getting very left wing over the privatisation issues – and still don’t see just how I gain from having all of the former public utility companies now in the hands of rapacious money-grabbing corporations (often foreign) who can now charge me more or less what they want for the basic necessities of life in order to maximise their profits while paying a minimum of UK tax.

Is it me, or did something go very wrong there?

By the same token I most emphatically do not agree with the absolutely RABID protestors against the so-called “Poll Tax” (it was actually called the Community Charge but that wasn’t emotive enough for the left-wing press and might even have been accepted under that name!) but this is another of those areas where those who were not there and do not know what it was all about will automatically assume that anyone of my generation MUST have been against it too, so bad was it made out to be!

For readers of non-UK origins and the more forgetful of the natives I should mention that public services supplied by local authorities are paid for by a levy (called various things at various times) and based on the value of one’s  property regardless of how many people live there!

Where the Community Charge was different was that it dared to suggest that (for example) a family on a council estate (i.e. paying rent to the local council) which had Mum, Dad and 2 adult working children in residence should pay MORE for refuse collection, public transport etc. than a bloke on his own in an expensive flat nearby by charging them on a “per capita” basis.  To use a rather nasty Americanism here: “Well, DUH!!”

Why not? The rich bloke doesn’t produce as much rubbish as the first lot and probably doesn’t even touch the bus system so why on earth should he have to pay more for those things than they do en masse just because his house cost him more?  Perfectly logical as far as I could see and had my own daughters been old enough to be at home and working I would have accepted it as only right and proper!

The working families of the old Trade Unionist left wing did not like it at all though – they went MENTAL! Demonstrations and riots in the streets occurred but still none of them has ever managed to explain coherently to me WHY it was a bad thing to ask everyone to pay their fair share.

And all of that should tell you that I was basically ambivalent about Mrs Thatcher – there were some good things, some bad things – and it leads me back to her death and the rehashing of my old article above.

Because, you see, whatever peoples’ views of her there is no denying that she wanted the best for this country and its people (ask any Falkland Islander) even if some “tough love” was needed and there is also no denying that she did make a difference.

This morning when I heard the news on the radio I was horrified to learn that there had been STREET PARTIES in some parts of the country celebrating her passing! What an appalling example of bad taste, bad manners and disrespect to show the world! Even if I hated her as much as those people did I was brought up in a way that would never permit me show those feelings in such a disgusting, crass and vindictive way as THAT!

And I do hope that those party people (who are I suspect of the same social status and degree of intelligence as those who saw a man deliberately attempting to kill policemen as a “lovable rogue”) never, ever make enough of a difference to the public life of this country to be as well known when they die. Because if that type of person winds up in a position of authority here I am convinced that we will be (like this article) completely FINISHED!!


1 Comment

Posted by on April 9, 2013 in Uncategorized


One response to “Speaking ill of the dead!

  1. Vincent

    April 10, 2013 at 11:16 am

    Two pieces – two comments.

    Firstly, I was saddened by the loss of our beautiful lady – Annette Funicello. A fact for which the spike on my pieces on her on YouTube does nothing to compensate. One such can be found here…

    As for Mad Maggie, who ruined Britain with her commercialisation (WKA privatisation) of everything – good riddance!

    Secondly, I recall a piece on an Australian sketch show: after a terrorist has blown himself up, the inevitable local is interviewed on TV. As always, she says how he was always such a QUIET man – “until the end,” she adds, “…then he got REAL noisy!”


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: