Actually, if you want the short response:
“What I normally do – disappear to a rented house or cottage in North Norfolk with my wife, her sister and their mother for a week in late June or early July”.
However, that explanation is not terribly forthcoming; neither does it help my word count (currently about 204,000) or my current target of beating the 2015 total (a puny 11,000 words) by the end of June – 2,200 to go excluding this piece and one week left.
We have to indulge my Mother-in-law and pretend to go along with her matriarchal “I’m in charge” fantasy on this holiday because, to be fair, she does PAY for this one!
Actually I don’t mind taking a turn at pushing her in her wheelchair around various North Norfolk seaside towns but I have to say right now that there is no way I am pushing her to or from the beach at Overstrand to or from our bungalow overlooking that beach!
Well, that footpath is like the scenery in James Bond’s trailing of Goldfinger across Europe in the eponymous movie or the finale of “The Italian Job”!
Gravity might, with a few crashes at the bends, get her DOWN but it would probably take the entire family (plus passers-by) to get her and the wheelchair back UP! “Little Old Lady” she isn’t!
As I say we will have to take her to visit some of her old favourites, Holt for example.
Mind you, I probably won’t be asked along for that one – I still haven’t been forgiven for my comment prior to our last visit a couple of years ago:
“Holt!” I exclaimed, “Who goes THERE?”
I know! Brilliant wasn’t it?
On the plus side, not being invited to join the ladies on shopping trips is something I can bear with considerable fortitude especially as our accommodation is only a couple of hundred yards from the beach (excluding the vertical component) and I will have with me my telescopic beach fishing rods and appropriate tackle.
While I understand that there is a chance of catching Sole or Bass from that beach in the evenings I am realistically expecting to continue the sequence that I detailed here: (https://littlealfie.wordpress.com/2009/07/07) and to be able to advise you once more that “No fish were harmed during the making of this holiday”!
There have been one or two other issues in advance of this trip.
Firstly, this will be the first time I have gone on one of these trips while not working on a contract – not being paid for days off has always been a good excuse for limiting my participation to weekends only. I’m not sure how I’ll cope with the regiment of women for a whole week!
And then a couple of weeks ago, while coming back from visiting my mother in Ipswich a very pleasant young central heating engineer called Shane failed to notice that I had stopped at a roundabout as required by law and allowed his Transit van to do something very rude to the rear end of my Peugeot 2008 without them having been formally introduced!
While I was able to complete my journey home without further problems and he did admit full liability, it is taking a while to get a new rear hatch and bumper and the work is likely to be still going on while we are away.
Still, we do have a much roomier Ford Focus Estate as a temporary replacement and I’m hoping we can keep it for the entire duration of the holiday!
Otherwise, if it is to be the Peugeot, mother-in-law and her wheelchair may just have to be secured to the roof bars to accommodate my fishing tackle in the car.
Watch this space.
PS. Yes this is intended to be another series and although nothing interesting enough to write about may happen I will be taking a laptop and notebook just in case.
Also I now note that WITH this piece I only have to find almost exactly 1,500 words to get the target I mentioned.